We Need Queer Mainstream Media Representation
…. For The Queer Children
Photo Credit: Indya Moore.
I didn’t start dreaming till I was thirteen. I didn’t know I could or should dream. I didn’t know what people like me could do, I didn’t know people like me could be so much more, I didn’t know there was a world filled with endless possibilities in front of me. Till I was thirteen I wanted to be (actually my mum wanted me to be) a lawyer, go to the University of Ibadan, get done, marry, have children and die. Lackluster? Tell me about it. Boring? You bet. You know that phase where kids say they wanted to be astronauts, chefs, doctors *insert wild career option - that in real life pays shit and involves way too many years to study for -here* because they saw someone on TV/church/school doing said job and they wanted to be like that person? Well I had that phase when I was thirteen/fourteen because that was when I realized that queer people could be so much more than abominations.
I figured out I wasn’t quite straight early in life, I also figured out what people thought about non-heterosexuals early in life, what I didn’t figure out early was that A) There were other queer people in this world B) Queer people are actually more than their sexualities, queer people were business people, performers, designers etc. I remember the time I wanted to be a fashion designer, it wasn’t just because I was passionate about fashion it was also because I came across a Nigerian gay man who was an amazing fashion designer and I saw pieces of myself in him and that’s the thing. Media representation isn’t just about about gay people shown everywhere or like the homophobes will say shoving the gay down everyone’s throat (Although making homophobes uncomfortable is a past time I am very fond of), it’s about queer people especially the children seeing themselves in those characters, in those storylines, in those scenarios, identifying with the storylines, connecting with those emotions. It’s about you having heroes to look up to. Cis-het children (especially the Caucasian ones) get to grow up looking up to all these amazing heroes and identifying with them, and relating with these struggles and stories while queer children (especially coloured children) do not get that, we grow up feeling our pain in a homophobic world and not having any character that gave us something to look forward to. Whitney Houston said it better in The Greatest Love Of All; ’Everybody is searching for a hero, people need someone to look up to, i never had anyone fulfil my needs, a lonely place to be, so I learned to depend on me’. Queer children for the most part grow up watching cartoons, TV shows and listening to music about romance and love but it is all about heterosexual love and romance and honestly, that sucks. Bad.
I for one didn’t know queer people could be in loving relationships for the longest time (I eventually learnt about this all thanks to fan fiction) let alone get married. It took me till watching Nasir & Agron on Spartacus to see an actual gay love story play out on TV. It took me till Kurt & Blaine on Glee to realize that as a gay man, you can have a happily ever after, you can meet your high school sweetheart, get into the school of your dreams, and win all round. I was fourteen. That was when I knew a gay man could have a happily ever after.
Queer children need to grow up in a world where they can watch a TV show on Saturday and a trans kid can say 'I want to be pretty like Angel (Pose) when I grow up' or a gay kid can say 'I want to perform on Broadway like Kurt (Glee)' or something like that. Queer kids need to grow up and look at the TV/iPad screen and see themselves and see their stories and see their reflections, queer kids need to know early on that they can be and are so much more. They can be stoic badass sassy villains, calm and collected detectives, flirty popular cheerleaders, awkward but cute nerds, Disney royalty, superheroes (No capes!). They need to know they are more than their sexualities, their gender and their labels, they are people who can do so much more than they know. They need to start dreaming early, at least earlier than I did.
